Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
