the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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