shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
