Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My bed smells like the plague
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