You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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