is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
