I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize