people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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