Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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