I want to stick my p in your. b.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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