operation have a gay friend backfired
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
