So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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