I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
