It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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