I can tuck mytits in my pants
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
