We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
