I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
