sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
