it hurts more in the daytime
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
