I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
