Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
