I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
