I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
