Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
