I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
