you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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