pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
