Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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