Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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