I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
