soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
