in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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