Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Four minutes until I can fart!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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