Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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