I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize