The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
