I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize