Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
