...so i touched it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
