If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
