I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
