Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
