He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
