It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
