what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
A bitchslap is in order.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
