It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
