It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize