he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
