I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
try to milk me bitch
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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