4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
