If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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