I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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