What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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