Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
