You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
